Hang on a minute… where am I?

You’ve somehow stumbled upon www.shelfabuse.com (formally www.holycr4p.com) a site devoted to comic books and graphic novels, specifically indie titles and small press releases. Occasionally, a movie review makes its way here.

As for this particular page, I was going to do an F.A.Q., but nobody has asked me any questions… not frequently, anyway. So instead, here’s a P.A.Q.(Possibly askable questions).

Carl Doherty - a particularly ugly specimen.

And you are?

Carl Doherty, an aesthetically pleasing blend of lovely bloke and idiot savant. I’m also a freelance writer and occasional artist/designer, situated in Essex, England. I’ve written for numerous small time websites, generally reviewing video games and movies – which, in the eyes of the common-or-garden philistine, makes me a big fat geek.

As with any poorly paid hack, I dream of seeing my novels, scripts and art receiving the attention I believe they deserve. But don’t we all?

So… why do you bother?

Really, I no longer know. Only kidding – essentially, my few years as a freelance journalist have taught me two things: 1) There ain’t much money to be made from writing online, and 2) Networking is a far greater factor in journalistic success than writing proficiency will ever be.

And so I started this humble second home of mine. And in the past two years I’ve received review copies and news alerts from writers, artists and publishers from around the world. The site may not make money, but these guys’ passion and inspiration has made it all worthwhile.

I’ll soon be entering the fray with my own digital comic, The Scribe, which is best described as Woody Allen’s Manhattan placed within your archetypal capes & cowls comic universe. Actually, it’s nothing like that at all.

Site!? Don’t you mean “blog”?

Hmmm… the term blog is a contraction of “web log”, which infers an online journal of some kind. I keep my personal life precisely that, and strive to write in a professional tone at all times. This page excluded, of course.

Will you feature my webcomic/graphic novel/book/digital comic?

Of course, please contact me here. I always respond to emails and will read and review everything I’m sent.

Hang on… if you begin producing your own comics, won’t criticising other people’s work make you some kind of backstabbing, duplicitous bastard?

Oh, definitely. But hey, if someone wants to dissect my work, I’ll put any number of scathing critiques up on the site, no matter how much they make me cry.

Need any help?

Are you jesting with me, boy? I’m not business-minded enough to ever get the site making money, but hey, if any young dreamers need a home for their scribblings, feel free to get in touch.

One last thing – why the hell do you give out so many 7/10 and 8/10 scores?

I haven’t a clue. Perhaps it’s because I tend to review/receive books that appeal to my personal taste, and rarely scout out crap titles to write about. Also, the reason I still bother with this site is that, for all its problems, I love the comic medium, and tend to enjoy a great deal of what I read on some level. Or maybe, I’m just nice.

Personally, I’d rather not bother with a scores system at all, but like the boy who pulled funny faces during capricious weather I’m now kinda stuck with it.