Star Wars: The Force Unleashed is, er… Forcefully Unleashed?

The demo for the much anticipated Star Wars unleashed has just hit Xboxlive, and it’s pretty darn good to say the least. In fact I was so impressed by it that I decided to write a certain someone a little letter:

Dear Mr Lucas,

Unlike most of my ilk, I would not accuse you of raping my childhood, or even pillaging it. I’m even good enough to forgive you for the seven years of therapy it took to repress my precious memories of youth which you heartlessly tarnished. Despite my recent demands for you to commit seppuku with a plastic toy lightsaber, I am writing to say that I did, much to my surprise, enjoy this new effort of yours, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. I especially liked the little midget droids, the way several bewildered Stormtroopers plopped from the ATST’s ass as I sliced it clean in two, and the fact that this game is in fact just Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast – a six year old game – with a graphical facelift and ragdoll physics.

Keep up the good work, and please do not commit seppuku on my behalf.

Yours sycophantically,

PS. I am well aware that you, George, probably had nothing to do with the game, other than nodding your beard in consent. But I will still line your wallet further this September when the full game is released… because I am weak.

Carl Doherty has written about movies, video games, comic books and literature for almost a decade, forging ill-informed critiques for numerous websites, blogs and publications that no one has ever heard of. His debut novel, the epic fantasy comedy Welcome to The Fold, is available now on Kindle here (UK) and here (US).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *